5 months out, 50 pounds down

I can't believe it's already been over 5 months since my surgery. Honestly, most days I can't even tell that I had surgery because I am so adjusted to the new normal. I don't feel the restriction of my new smaller stomach much either, perhaps because it has stretched out some already but also because I naturally serve myself smaller portions now.  In the grand scheme of things, it really is the portion size that is the most significant difference than before surgery.  I still allow myself treats sometimes just like before and mostly that feels right, though I have to fight off the temptation of junky treats (yes, twizzlers, I am talking about you!) and save the calories for the really worthwhile stuff (fresh avocado, high quality dark chocolate.)

I am still losing weight but much more slowly now. It frustrates me but it makes sense intellectually. I would like to lose another 30 pounds, which at this rate will probably take me 6 more months, at least. I never could have lost anywhere close to 51 pounds on my own and so I am hopefully that if I follow the "rules" my surgeon gave me I will get to my goal eventually.  I have a 6-month check up with the surgeon in a couple of weeks and I will get the results of extensive blood work they did recently- I am hoping that will be very affirming and show that I have already improved my health.

Back after a Break

I took an extended break from blogging- to my perfectly honest, it was bumming me out that no one ever comments on my blog.  Silly, I know...  But my weight loss has started to slow down and I thought starting to blog again might be a good way to articulate what's working and where I need to improve to stay on track.

First the good news, I have lost 37 pounds total and I feel great physically.  I'm wearing smaller clothes and I feel much better about my appearance overall.  I am doing a pretty good job of meeting my protein goal (60-80 grams per day) on a consistent basis.  I am staying away from all carbonation, most caffeine and all alcohol.  I am wearing my fitbit one every day and trying to increase my daily activity (steps, stair climbing).  I am paying close attention to the feeling of restriction when I eat and stopping when I feel it so I don't stretch out my sleeve.

But I am not quite following all of the rules.  The biggest one is the "no grazing" rule.  My surgeon and nutritionist said I should be eating 5-6 small meals or snacks per day maximum.  Because I eat small quantities, I only stay full for about 45 minutes or so.  It takes lots of willpower (never my strong suit...) not to snack every hour all day long and I haven't been staying on track.  I decided this morning to try setting the timer on my phone for 2 hours whenever I finish eating so I don't eat again until the timer goes off.  This should help me distinguish between true hunger, thirst and boredom or feeling down.

I am supposed to be drinking 64+ ounces of sugar-free liquids a day and I am not getting nearly enough.  I forget or I pour myself a drink but don't actually drink it or I don't have something to drink available when I notice I am thirsty.  I really need to work on this one, both because dehydration could be unhealthy and because the liquids should help me feel full between meals and snacks.

I am supposed to eat protein first, then fruits and vegetables, and starches only if I have room.  This is a hard one for me because eating one food at a time doesn't feel normal and I still have cravings for sweets.  I seem to be able to tolerate eating basically anything, which is a mixed blessing!

I am also not doing much cardio exercise or weight training.  What I love about the fitbit is that it motivates me to meet my daily goals without making me feel guilty.  Because I associate exercise with punishment, the fitbit helps me think in terms of "activity" rather than "exercise."  Increasing my activity and adding light weight training would be good for my weight loss and my overall health (and mood) but I haven't yet found a groove.

Now that I've written this all out, I see I have a lot to still work on.   Onward and upward.

Four weeks since surgery

Yesterday was my 4 week anniversary! I am feeling much more normal than I did during the first few weeks. I still tire easily but that's not a big surprise given how little I am eating, how much stress I am under, and how hot it is outside. I am totally sick of my puréed diet but am allowed to advance to the next stage- soft foods- on Thursday. I have started a bit early by experimenting with some finely chopped egg salad and smoked salmon salad (two separate things.) so far so good.  The only things forbidden on the next stage are raw fruits and veggies and nuts and seeds but many people find there are other things they just can't tolerate yet. (Still no caffeine, added sugar, carbonation or alcohol as well.) The rule is to always eat protein first, then veggies, and only fruit or starch if you still have room.  This helps the healing process and helps the body choose to lose fat rather than muscle mass. Since I don't eat meat or poultry or shellfish, I will be eating a lot of fish, eggs, and dairy products.  Beans are hard to digest at this stage but very well-cooked beans in small amounts may be ok. My hope is that I can get enough protein from my meals and snacks to go down to one protein shake a day, which would be great because I am super sick of them. As of today I have lost 25 pounds, which feels awesome!

Got my surgery date!

Today was a big day- I got my surgery date!  It is June 30, which is exactly 8 weeks from today.  I have a few final preparatory steps I need to complete between now and then: blood work to see if my vitamin levels are back up to normal (I was very low in vitamin D, B-12, and iron so I've been taking lots of supplements), a follow up appointment with the pulmonary doc to find out the results of my sleep study, attendance at the monthly bariatric surgery support group, and a full day of pre-surgical tests and information sessions two weeks before surgery. The main thing I'm nervous about at this moment is the requirement that I don't gain any weight or they will cancel my surgery.  It's a standard rule- I think they figure that if you are non-compliant before surgery, you are more likely to be so after surgery, which can lead to complications.  It makes sense, but preparing for weight loss surgery brings up a lot of feelings and not stuffing them down with food is challenging.  It's easy to tell yourself that this will be your last opportunity to eat freely and so you should indulge now while you can. If I do that, I will gain weight! The idea that I'm giving up certain foods forever is not actually true because most sleeve patients can actually eat almost anything once they are fully healed but just not in large quantities.  So I'm trying to follow the pre-surgery eating guidelines they gave me: wean off caffeine, eat little to no sugar, practice eating slowly, and always eat protein first (to fill you up.)  They also recommend starting to exercise.  This morning I took a short walk before work, which was actually a really nice way to start the day.  I also ate several cookies that someone brought to work- not terrible but also not as disciplined as would be ideal.  Tomorrow is a new day.